the Word Waterfall

VERY IMPORTANT!!! PLEASE READ.

2008-05-25T08:03:00Z

I have hated my username for some time, now (I picked two random words, added an H in one, and stuck an underscore between them - gah, it sucks) and finally I have gotten up off my lazy ass and moved.

I AM NOW wildejoy (account under construction). PLEASE COMMENT HERE TO BE ADDED, OR ADD ME AND I WILL RECIPROCATE.

I won't delete this journal, however, because I'm way too lazy to move all my posted fiction over. BUT any new stuff I write will be posted there. This journal is, for all intensive purposes, DEAD. A moment to mourn.

Renay: could you please invite me to notabookcluband 26cockjokesat that account? (I need to get some of my stories from 26cockjokessince I didn't post them for fear of Sev finding out.)

supernatural & girl-crushes

2008-05-23T20:39:55Z

Ugh. So, cramps today? Are so bad. Like, worse than usual. I've lain around the entire day doing nothing but watching DVDs of Supernatural (pretty boys, so fucking pretty) since I rented the first season. Dude, that Bugs episode? *shudder* Not cool.

BUT, AMY ACKER! Do you know how excited I was to see Amy Acker? I was like, DUDE, YES, SOMEBODY ELSE REALIZED HOW AMAZING THAT WOMAN IS. Seriously, I have the biggest girl-crush on her. (And yeah, that picture I linked to is the one I edited for my journal banner.

Anyway. I find it funny how every time they know it's a spirit, they're like, "SUPERDUPER. Let's go burn the remains." And every time, there's some reason why they can't. It just seems silly. Maybe one time it should actually be that simple. We could just have a few extra minutes of closeups on beautiful boys.

Why don't I have an Amy Acker icon?

insecurities, fandom, and making math my BITCH. it's all in a day's work.

2008-05-22T23:01:16Z

So as I was checking my flist today I found this incredibly insightful (flocked, though, sorry!) post of scribblemoose's. Thank you, Scribbles, for waking me up, at least. I never post here anymore. WHY DON'T I POST ANYMORE?

Well, HI, GUYS. DID YOU MISS ME?

Let's see. Exam stress is perched on my shoulder (actually, I shouldn't say 'perched' - it's more like a two-ton elephant breathing down my neck). If I fail the math exam, I will almost definitely fail the year (exams are worth far too much of my mark, goddamnit!). I'm studying, but I'm studying so hard for math and science that I have even glanced at Spanish, Japanese, French, or English.

BUT! On the bright side, NINETY-TWO PER CENT ON MY VERY IMPORTANT TRIGONOMETRY TEST. THAT'S RIGHT, I MADE THAT TEST MY BITCH. I BET ITS ASS IS STILL SORE FROM THAT POUNDING.

Okay, I'm done, I promise. I'm treating myself to sushi tonight as a reward, though. Maybe that day I was channeling my dad's side of the family... (For those who don't know, my uncle and aunt and both scientists. One of their sons is a biologist and he just married a chemist. The other son is a video game/robotics/computer program designer. They are breeding all the stupid out of our family.)

The annoying thing is, most of my mistakes were mostly from rounding too early on in my calculations. It tipped my answer just slightly off. Grrr.

FANDOM. What is happening in my fandoms, these days? I haven't been posting any of the stuff I've been writing due to my serious self-esteem issues. scribblemoose, bottle_of_shine, not_cynical, inksheddings, rainjoyswriting, and others, are just so freaking good that it makes me feel so inadequate. I read something of theirs and after I've finished sighing wistfully over it I begin to wail about how PITY ME, I WILL NEVER CATCH UP. OH NOES! When I really should just suck it up and post. If people like it, great. If not, life goes on. My friends aren't going to hate me or laugh at me if I write something shitty, and if they do they aren't worth knowing anyway.

I'm not writing for other people (well, maybe my dad, since when he doesn't like something he's incredibly tactful about it, and when he does he gushes like a twelve-year-old schoolgirl - it's adorable) and it isn't my job. There shouldn't be pressure. I started writing because I love it, and I think I've become too concerned with what people think of my stuff. There are always going to be better writers than me, and there are always going to be better writers than them. I've got to stop worrying. It's just one of those things that easier said than done.

I AM SORRY FOR THE TL;DR. I CAN'T HELP IT. IT'S LIKE FINGER DIARRHEA. TT_TT

Writer's Block: Personality Trait = Trouble

2008-04-30T22:29:04Z

What personality trait has gotten you in the most trouble?

View 500 Answers

I have trouble keeping my mouth shut. Not on secrets, I mean - I keep those quite well, I think - but when I disagree with something, I tend to just... say so. This got me into serious trouble in grade school, because I'd talk back to my teachers when I disagreed or thought they were being unfair. Several report cards in my younger years said, "Has trouble respecting authority", which is so funny because I didn't get sent to the principal's office even once. ^___^ But silence is tacit agreement, so whenever adults were being asshats, I told them so. In more polite words, I expect.

meme time! snatched from thiefqueenriyo

2008-04-29T03:55:26Z

1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favourite user pic of yours.
7. In return, you must post this in your LJ.

C'mon, guys, please? =)

wallpaper: riku/sora

2008-04-12T21:05:52Z

More goodies for Riyo! Okay, it's not very fancy. But hopefully it's the thought that counts. ^___^

fic: Quicksilver

2008-04-12T08:12:29Z

Written for the Riku/Sora-loving thiefqueenriyo, to help her through tough times. With the hope that things get better soon.

WORKSAFE. Set after KHII.

It’s weird, being back here after all this time. Sora sometimes still wakes up in the morning with a vague sense of panic, wondering for a moment where he is. One morning when he was shaken awake by his mother, he called the Keyblade to his hand before he had opened his eyes.

He had been dreaming of the Heartless. That happens a lot, these days – he can’t quite wrap his mind around the fact that maybe they really are gone – or even just temporarily absent. He’s always expecting a Shadow to appear, slithering under his floor and dragging him down to the darkness again, twisting fingers slippery-cold, glassy-smooth on his ankle. That’s what happens in most of the dreams.

He’s not unhappy. He’s far from it, actually. He’s home – with his mother and father and his four best friends in the whole world. Now, his biggest worries are studying for finals, and finding a part-time job. It’s… a nice change, he decides. Nice is the only word he can really use to describe it.

But that doesn’t stop the nightmares.

When Sora wakes up in the middle of the night, sweaty and panting with terror, he always goes down to the shore. He doesn’t go out to the island – he just watches it, a dark lump on the horizon. He sits and watches until he feels himself falling asleep again, and then he stumbles back to bed.

This night, though, as he tiptoes past Riku’s house towards the shoreline, he sees the light is on in Riku’s room. It’s not all that late, he supposes, but most people are in bed by now. He tries to be extra-careful as he passes.

But Riku has trained himself like Sora, to be aware of everything that goes on around him. Fighting for one's life does that to a person. Barely two minutes pass before Sora can hear footsteps following him down the road. Riku isn’t even trying to be quiet or sneaky. Sora ignores him – hoping against hope that maybe he’ll just give up.

Because Riku is way to observant and just plain smart for Sora’s comfort. Kairi is happy to accept the smiling face he wears during the daytime, because she knows it’s sincere. It doesn’t seem to have occurred to her – to anyone – that maybe there is more to him than the cheerful hero and the boy she used to play with.

Sora plops down into the pale, cool sand, wriggling his fingers under the surface until he finds sand that is so cold it feels like ice. He doesn’t sit near enough to the water that the lapping waves would touch him – the ocean is nearly freezing at this time of night – but he watches them slide up the shore and scurry back, and he hears the footsteps stop.

“Something bothering you?” Riku says. Sora shrugs, looking back to see Riku with a hand on his hip, watching Sora thoughtfully as though he was a puzzle to be solved.

“I’m fine,” Sora says with a quick smile, and tries to ignore the way the moonlight makes Riku’s skin look so soft, like it’s got its own glow. “Just couldn’t sleep, that’s all.”

Riku sits down next to him. “You look… bad.”

“Gee, thanks.” Sora gives him a mock-offended look.

“No, I mean-“ Riku sighs and looks out at the island, leaning back on his hands. “You look pale. And kinda shaky.”

“I’m fine,” Sora says again, with a nervous little laugh this time.

“Bad dream?”

Obviously, Riku’s not going to give up so easily. “Yeah,” he admits. “I failed my chemistry final. Stupid, huh?”

Riku shoots him a look that says he doesn’t believe a word of it. “A dream about failing a test shook you up this bad? Do you actually think I’m that stupid?” With a little grin, he leans over and shoves Sora’s shoulder a bit with his own.

Sora laughs, mostly because however anxious this conversation is making him, Riku is so much more like himself these days. Of course there are always shadows in his eyes, and sometimes he goes all dreamy and Sora knows he’s wracked with guilt. But life has returned to something strangely close to normal.

“C’mon,” Riku says, and Sora has to look away from his sharp gaze. It’s far too difficult to hide things from this boy he’s known for so many years. “You can tell me.”

And before Sora knows it, the whole thing is pouring out. His nightmares, his fears, those little dark thoughts that maybe this isn't the last they've seen of Organization XIII. That maybe Heartless will come back, stronger than ever.

He could never tell Kairi, or his parents, or even Donald and Goofy. He loves them all dearly but there is no one who knows quite what it’s like to drown to completely in darkness – to have the black filling your nose and mouth, trickling down your throat and into your lungs, soaking through your skin and lacing your blood. Darkness, pumping through his whole body, closing a cold cruel hand around his heart.

No one except Riku.

Sora’s not even embarrassed when Riku tugs him into his arms, somewhat awkwardly. But it’s stupid, Sora thinks, that after all Riku’s gone through, he’s the one comforting Sora. Sora feels almost guilty about that.

“You heroes can be really stupid, sometimes,” Riku laughs, pulling away a little but still keeping an arm slung casually around Sora’s shoulders. “You think you’ve gotta be all solitary. Don’t you get it? The hero always has friends to help him.” Riku pauses, and Sora can hear something catch in his voice when he continues. “It’s the villains that have to be alone. You have friends, Sora. Don’t forget that.”

There’s something wrong with this, Sora realizes. Something is wrong in the way Riku says that. “You have friends, too,” he says, frowning up into Riku’s face as if trying to see into his mind.

Riku smiles. “Yeah,” he says. “I know. You could be right, Sora – for all we know, Maleficent could be cooking up a new scheme as we speak. Xemnas might not really be gone. The Heartless might be just waiting to pounce. But you know, you sound like me when you talk about that stuff, all doom and destruction. So, I guess I’ll try and sound like you. If you spend all your time worrying about what could happen, you’re just gonna miss what does happen. You could miss the good stuff. You have to enjoy the good stuff, as little or as much of it as there is.”

“The good stuff?” Sora leans in closer, studying him carefully, because there’s a bit of a pink tinge to Riku’s cheeks and those vivid eyes won’t meet his.

“Sure.” Riku scoots back, his arm falling back to the sand, and Sora pretends not to miss it. Riku laughs, then, a little too loudly, as if he’s trying to break the tension. “Like, no girl’s gonna want to go out with you if you mope around all the time.”

“Oh. Right.” And then they are both staring down at their feet. Sora traces idle patterns in the sand while Riku toys with his shoelaces.

Sora’s not sure what just happened, but he does know the tension in the air is almost palpable, now. “I-“ He clears his throat, flushing red when he hears his voice crack with nervousness. “I’m gonna go to bed, then. After all, we do have school tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Riku nods and rises to his feet, and Sora follows, brushing sand off the seat of his pants.

“Hey, um, Riku?”

Riku looks back, one eyebrow raised. His hair slips over his shoulder like quicksilver with the turn of his head. He looks every bit as cool and collected as he usually does. It makes Sora feels clumsy and childish by comparison, but he goes on anyway. “I, you know. Thanks.” He leans in on tip-toes, then, wondering what he’s doing and if he is actually in control of his body or if in fact it is simply acting of its own will, because he feels sort of dazed right now and Riku smells like shampoo and salt water and his cheek where Sora kisses it is very soft.

But Riku jumps at the contact, which jerks his head just far enough to the side to replace his cheek with his lips. Part of Sora wonders if maybe that was intentional, even if it was one some subconscious level. Because Riku certainly doesn’t seem to mind the change one bit, though when Sora falls back to stand normally he looks mortified.

“Riku?” Sora says, knowing he sounds hesitant but feeling pretty sure of himself. “Is it really girls, for you?”

Riku looks like a rabbit in the path of a chocobo stampede. “H-huh?”

“Because…” He swallows and makes himself breathe, because this is embarrassing, darn it, and even if Riku weren’t a boy he’s still his friend and, okay, maybe he’s not so sure of himself. “Because, you know, it’s not really, for me.”

“Not what?” Riku’s voice is almost squeaky. Sora wonders if he’s ever seen Riku so very much in pieces.

“Girls.” Sora risks a quick glance at Riku’s face, which is still nothing but shock. And maybe, Sora realizes, he was wrong. Feeling fear flare up inside him, he rushes to defuse the situation. “I mean, if you’re not, that’s cool, I wasn’t – I just –” The rest of his words are lost in a little shout of surprise as he finds himself pushed down to the cool white sand. In an instant, the Riku Sora knows is back. In fact, he looks more than just collected – he looks smug.

“Should’ve known,” he says with a cocky grin. “Not many people can resist me.”

Sora laughs then, but Riku doesn’t allow that for long. Sora doesn’t complain, of course. Riku’s lips are warm and taste like toothpaste, and his hair is soft where it brushes Sora’s cheeks, hanging around their faces like a silver curtain.

If he thought about it logically, he supposed that kissing Riku should make him feel the darkness stronger than ever.

Instead, he feels nothing but soft skin and clever hands, and the ethereal glow of quicksilver moonlight.

wallpapers: gippal/baralai

2008-04-12T05:25:44Z

Three Gippal/Baralai wallpapers I made. Every single image in which the two of them are together, I had to manipulate. And I do not have fancy schmancy tools, folks - I have the bare basics. So even if you don't like them, a comment would be very much appreciated - just tell me how I could improve. I spent hours on this, trying out different positions and texts and fonts and images and layers and colours and LOTS MORE CRAP.

They are strange sizes (my apologies for this). If you need them resized for what your res is, I'm happy to do so. Just let me know. I'm a little confused, though - the image-hosting site I used made them smaller. They don't show as the size they're supposed to be, so they come off blurrier and generally worse. Help?

The text in the first one is a reference to owlmoose 's fic Playing Pirates. The second is a quote from bottle_of_shine 's story Three Quick Breaths In Safe Dark Spaces. Both are used with permission from the writers, and if you haven't read those fics, I highly recommend them.

The text in the third wallpaper is a quote from my own story, Penance.

Now that I've pimped, onto the wallpapers! =) Click the thumbnails for large images.

lucky stars, by lucy frank

2008-04-11T21:14:17Z

Very badly-written semi-coherent review behind the cut.

So, I have seriously mixed feelings about this book. At the beginning, I was sort of, "Wow. Deadbeat musician dad and young girl who takes care of her younger siblings because he's too irresponsible. This is so original." But then we met Jake, and I didn't want to put the book down because he was so goshdarn sweet. Maybe a little too sweet - at times I feel very aware that this is written by a woman, because when I was thirteen I don't recall most boys being like this. However, Jake was more or less believable, and I felt for him so much that I wanted to keep going.

I liked Lucy Frank's turnaround - she lets you assume something, and then she taps you and the shoulder and says, "Actually, you were meant to think that, but... no." It wasn't a sharp, sudden, oh-my-god-Darth-Vader-is-his-father!? kind of twist - it was very gradual. It snuck up on you. And then you're fangirling over Eugene, when actually you thought you were supposed to be squeeing over Jake and Kira and OMG-aren't-they-cute!

But really, I think Eugene was meant to be the focus all along. I think Jake and Kira were huge figures in the story, and they certainly had their own moments - though the unoriginality of Kira's plight kind of poked at me all throughout the book - but I found myself coming to the end of the book with a sense of, That - that's it? But I want to know more! Do they do well? Does Eugene get closure? Do Kira and Jake realize how cruel they were that one time? What about Tammy? And Russell? Most of all, though, I really did want more of Eugene's story. I wanted to spend longer inside his head. He is every friend who covers for his buddies with a smile and a 'no-problem', when inside he wants nothing more than for someone to have to cover for him. (I know that was a bad sentence - I'm not sure how to rephrase it. Bleh.) These people are everywhere, and you have to really look, because they are good at doing what they do - hiding.

Oh, Eugene. I'm not going to say I want a sequel, because unless it takes place mostly from Eugene's point of view, I don't.

I will say one thing, though - when it was Eugene's time to shine, I was practically vibrating with glee and fangirlish excitement. Finally. Lucy Frank has a real way with storytelling - in that moment, I felt every ounce of Eugene's joy with him. Finally, baby.

Anyway. I know I'm terrible at these things, but has anyone else read this book and maybe provided a better review? I'm curious to know what others think. ~~I'M LOOKING AT YOU, RENAY.~~

dark... darker... darko - ohshitevilbunny! =0

2008-04-06T06:23:53Z

Watched Donnie Darko this evening with a friend.

HOLY. SHIT.

I'm a 'fraidy cat, okay? And that movie? Scared me. Gotta admit it. Luckily I clutched at my friend's arm the whole time. She was a good sport about it. It's less scary the second time round, however.

It was a good movie, though - extraordinarily confusing, but well-done. Also, I love Jake and Maggie Gylleenhaal, so we were on to a winner there right from the start.

If any of you have seen Donnie Darko and got... well, okay, any of it, lemme know. I'm still ~~a little~~ ~~just slightly~~ really confused.

Still, I loved it.

*dreamy, fangirly sigh*
Oh, Jake. ♥

Oh, yeah, and I thank you for te mention of that song Self Preservation, Susan. Good taste! =)

Writer's Block: Sick Day

2008-03-31T22:15:36Z

What is your favorite thing about being sick?

View 500 Answers

It gives me an excuse to watch Disney movies and trash TV. I still love the Little Mermaid and the Lion King. Of course, my all-time favorite would still be Mulan. Has a girl kicking ass, not to mention awesome songs and then there's Mushu, who might be one of the best Disney sidekicks ever invented. Mulan has it all, baby.

I do these things all the time, even when I don't have even a smidgeon of writer's block.

In other news, at Renay's rec, I am reading Life As We Knew It, by Susan Beth Pfeffer (am still trying to figure out how to pronounce her last name). I love it so far, although I do have a few issues. But for the most part it's great.

meme stolen from not_cynical

2008-03-28T23:39:07Z

1) your handle/name/username
2) left or right handed?
3) favourite letters to write
4) least favourite characters to write
5) write "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog."

(Okay, so I'm not tagging people. I erased number six. SHOOT ME.)

And now onto my ~~really weird~~ lovely writing. It's half-cursive, half-printing, which is why I didn't say handwriting...

Just so you know, Elise is my middle name, not my last name.

EDIT: Um, I suck at this. Why is there a giant space between my text and my image? I just pasted it in HTML like usual... =|

fic: Here

2008-03-24T01:04:37Z

I asked Xedra for yet another prompt, and she gave me Tidus/Yuna. I couldn't believe how little I'd written - I love Tidus and I love Yuna, so... *shakes head* Silly me.

It's not entirely worksafe - has fairly obvious implications of sex. I guess you decide.

Yuna was not, by nature, a fearful person. She had battled fiends and mastered even the strongest of aeons. She had been kidnapped and manipulated. She had been hunted as a traitor and nearly executed.

But when she opened her eyes that morning, she was filled with a fear like she’d never felt before. There was a thin ray of sunlight slipping in through the crack in the tent’s curtains, and the blankets were silky and the mattress soft. She felt warm and content – or had before she had awoken enough to think. To wonder. To fear.

It had been wonderful, the night before – he had been in her arms again, strong and solid and real. He had been smiling, and he was still just like the sun – bright and warm and golden. He was still as beautiful as ever, and his eyes, just as blue as she remembered them, still got that same expression in them when he looked at her. He smelt of salt water, and she soon found he tasted of it, too.

He’d been even more perfect than she’d imagined, those long nights lying awake, missing and wanting so strong that it was like an ache in her bones. He’d kissed her calluses and she’d known it would be okay that she’d changed. She’d known they were strong enough to work it out.

He’d kissed her all over, soft lips sliding over her skin until she’d nearly gone mad with desire, and then his callused hands gripped her hips as she’d wrapped her legs around his waist. And finally, she’d felt whole again.

Now she was awake, and though it had felt so real, there was a part of her that couldn’t help but wonder, and fear, and worry –

She turned over.

The bed was empty.

Yuna heard a strange noise, like something wounded and dying, and knew it was her. She sat up, clutching the blankets to cover her nakedness (but didn't she usually wear pajamas to bed?) and stared at the empty space beside her, where the sheets were rumpled. She knew, though, that it was from her own tossing and turning. She had not shared her bed with anyone last night. Perhaps grief had finally driven her insane.

She touched the wrinkled sheets longingly, and felt a tear escape her stinging eyes, skittering down her cheek and filling her mouth with bitter salt –

Except that the cloth beneath her hand was warm.

“Hey, you,” and someone had pulled aside the curtains and for a moment the tent was flooded with bright mid-morning sunlight, and then they fell shut again and Yuna knew that voice – and ever the fool, she dared to hope.

She turned on her knees so quickly that she fell back, and she threw an arm back to catch herself.

Oh, my.

He was there, smiling sunnily and carrying a tray piled high with food. The smells made her mouth water, but she ignored them in favor of simply drinking in the sight of him. He put the tray down on the floor, peering at her worriedly. “Yuna, are you – whoa! ”

She leaped on him without even a bit of grace or dignity, pressing him to the floor and kissing him as if she couldn’t breathe without it, gripping his arms with all her strength. He made a startled noise into her mouth but threaded his fingers through her tangled hair and kissed her back, tender and less desperate. When at last she had to pull away, he looked still more concerned.

“Are you okay?” he asked, a little out of breath.

“You’re still here,” she gasped, and suddenly couldn’t stop smiling.

Concern melted away into joy, and he was smiling once more. “As long as you still want me.”

Yuna could do nothing but laugh.

fic: Follow

2008-03-23T23:56:24Z

My second fic for Xedra. She asked for Irvine/Squall. I'm not altogether happy with this, because it seems kind of sloppy and rushed... but I hope you enjoy anyway!

WORKSAFE

The knock on his door startles Squall – though he’d never admit it, he’d begun to drift off into a light sleep with his head on the desktop. He jumped, straightening and picking up a pen to make himself look busy. “Come in,” he called.

Well, shit.

Because it was Irvine who walked through the door, sweeping off his hat and nodding a hello as he closed the door behind him. “How’s it going?” he asked, his smile warm but a little wary.

Squall nodded back, shifting papers around on his desk and trying to look as though he was actually doing something. “Fine,” he said curtly. “I’m sort of busy, though.”

“Really?” Irvine’s grin was nothing short of predatory, and it did nothing to help Squall’s obvious anxiety. “You don’t look it.”

Squall’s glare met Irvine’s amused ones for a split second before darting away, and Squall seemed to be studying the pen in his hand with far too much interest. “It’s late,” he said, and realized with a glance at the clock that it actually was. “I should go to bed.” He stood, stuffing papers into the drawers of his desk and pushing his chair in a little too hard. It clattered upon contact with the desktop and Irvine chuckled.

Squall ignored him, but when Irvine stepped just a little to the side to bar the doorway, it became more difficult.

“What?” Squall demanded, seriously considering just shoving Irvine out of the way.

“You’ve been avoiding me, Commander,” Irvine said.

“No, I haven’t,” Squall snapped, glaring at the wall just above Irvine’s right shoulder.

“I’m no genius, but I’m not dumb, either.” Squall could feel Irvine’s thoughtful gaze on him and tried not to fidget. “You haven’t looked me in the eye proper since Selphie’s birthday party.”

Squall said nothing.

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with anything that happened at the party, now, would it?” Irvine leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms and looking as though he was prepared for this to take as long as it had to. Squall could have sworn there was the beginning of a smile on Irvine's lips.

“I get it,” Squall growled. “I do, okay? You were drunk and I was just sort of there. Only now things are awkward, and-”

“Squall, darling, who ever said you were ‘just there’?” Irvine was leaning in a bit, too close for Squall’s comfort, smelling too good – like leather and soap and gunpowder – and now he’d taken a step closer and Squall could feel the heat from his body. His voice was a slow, deliberate drawl, warm and low. “All right, I may have been a bit tipsy. But things are only awkward when you make them that way. And I don’t know about you-”

It took every ounce of Squall’s will not to shiver at the brush of Irvine’s fingers over the junction of his neck and shoulders, soft, light touches trailing down to settle on his arm. He knew that the effort had not gone unnoticed, by the smirk on Irvine's lips as he opened his mouth to speak. “-but personally, I very much enjoyed myself.”

Squall told himself to take a step back and shake off the hand Irvine had placed on his hip, but then Irvine was kissing him again, pulling him close, and Squall could do nothing but reciprocate.

He still felt awkward kissing – had had very little experience and was all too aware that Irvine had a great deal more – but he tried to follow Irvine’s lead. He leaned up, pressing closer, tasting mint on Irvine’s lips. Auburn hair tickled his cheeks as Irvine tipped his head sideways until their mouths fit as though they'd been made to.

When Irvine pulled away, Squall wasn’t sure what to make of the silly grin on his face. “I wouldn’t kiss you if you’d been ‘just there’,” Irvine told him, and had yet to let go of Squall’s hip, or back up at all. Squall’s every breath was filled with Irvine, and even his lips tasted of Irvine’s toothpaste.

“Squall,” Irvine said, now stepping back and looking very sincere, “I’d like to ask you on a date.”

Squall very nearly laughed – the whole situation was so unexpected and strange and surreal – but something told him he might hurt Irvine’s feelings. Still, he had no idea what to say. “I – a date?”

“Yeah,” Irvine confirmed, looking a little more at ease now. “You know, people go out to dinner or the theatre or walk on the beach or something. A date.”

“I-” Squall was at a loss. Irvine ducked his head trying to hide a rueful grin.

“Or we could just have a beer,” he added, shrugging, and profound relief spread over Squall’s face.

“Okay,” he said, knowing he sounded awkward and uncertain and probably very childish.

But- “Okay,” Irvine was saying, and suddenly he was kissing Squall again, tipping his head back and parting Squall’s lips with a gentle tongue. He had better not get used to being in control, though, Squall thought as he tentatively brushed his tongue against Irvine’s. Because as soon as Squall had everything figured out, he would be taking it back.

Of course, he reasoned as Irvine’s hands slipped under his t-shirt to trace slow, soothing circles on his back and pulling their hips a little closer – sometimes, it wasn’t so bad to be led.

fic: Blackmail

2008-03-23T05:39:38Z

La Editor (at FF.net) asked for Rin/Rikku. I hope I've kept everyone in character!

Oh, and as a side-note - yes, I know I used the whole 'tastes of a potion' thing (or rather, something quite similar) in my Aurikku story Fox. But, well... RECYLCING IS LOVE, GUYS.

They were soaking wet and half-asleep when they stumbled through the door. Rin was startled; it was really very late, and no one had come in for hours. He wasn’t expecting any more business – he was only still behind the counter because he was counting the money in the till. He didn’t entirely trust his shopkeeper and intended to make sure she hadn’t pinched anything. He very much disliked trusting other people with his money.

It was the summoner Yuna and her party that had entered, he realized. He shouldn’t have been surprised, he supposed – after all, most people crossing the Thunder Plains stayed the night here. Of course, most of them came at a decent hour.

“Good evening,” he said, smiling politely as they approached the counter. “Are you seeking rooms?”

“Yes, please,” Yuna said, smiling back despite her obvious exhaustion.

“At two hundred a room, that will be one thousand four hundred Gil, and I thank you for your patronage.” Rin saw several guardians sigh and slump at the price but he made no apology other than his continued smile.

The blond boy dug in his pockets and handed over the Gil, looking just a little resentful. Rin thanked him once again.

“And I wanna see what you’ve got for sale!” Rikku bounded up to the counter, the only one of her party who seemed to be mostly awake.

“Rikku. How nice to see you again.” Rin didn’t ask what she was doing serving as a guardian – so long as she bought something, he didn’t much care. He gestured behind him to the shelves stocked full of potions, eye drops, echo screens, and various other medicines, as well as distillers and maps. “We also have grenades under the counter” he added.

Rikku bit her lip as she considered, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “I’ll take three grenades and two hi-potions, then,” she said at last.

“Splendid. That is one thousand one hundred Gil.” Rin slid the items across the counter.

Rikku looked expectantly at the blond, who shrugged helplessly. “Uh, I’m out,” he said. “I’m gonna go hit the hay. Ask Wakka or somebody.” He took the key Rin handed him and dashed off.

It soon became apparent that nobody in the group had enough Gil. Rikku sighed, inspecting the coins she had collected from her friends as they had filed into their rooms. “All together, we have… six hundred,” she said, glancing up at Rin with very large imploring eyes.

“I am sorry,” he said. “That is not enough.” He began to draw the items back, but Rikku cried out.

“Wait, wait wait wait! Um…” Rikku dug deeper in the pockets of her tiny shorts and drew out a coin, holding it up triumphantly. “Six hundred and one Gil!”

Rin laughed.

Rikku began to pout. “There should be some sort of summoner-and-guardians discount or something.”

“I will consider it,” Rin said, and was of course lying through his teeth.

“Well… can I just give you an I.O.U.?” Rikku tried a sheepish smile.

“I am sorry, I can not accept that.” Rin paused, considering, and then added, “Of course, I might accept something else.”

“Yeah?” Rikku’s whole face brightened up, and she cocked her head to the side. “What’s that?”

“Perhaps a kiss?”

“What?"

Rikku looked shell-shocked. Rin’s bland smile stayed carefully in place.

“Pervert,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “Blackmailing innocent little girls!”

Rin could have pointed out that he was not much older than her, but all he said was, “You do have enough for six hi-potions or two grenades, of course. You are free to buy those.”

“But I need these!” Rikku screwed up her face as she considered, staring longingly at the items. “Oh, you’re mean.”

And then, so rapidly that Rin barely saw her move, she had leaned in and was tugging on his collar, pulling him down. Her lips were delightfully warm and soft, and for someone who had been blackmailed into the embrace, she was rather enthusiastic about the whole thing.

Rin dared to brush her lower lip with his tongue, and her lips parted – and for the briefest of seconds he tasted the sweetness of a recently-administered potion and felt her tongue slide against his – but then she was pulling away, quick as a flash.

“You are blushing,” he said as she gathered her purchases up in her arms.

“I am not,” she protested, and tossed her hair out of her face. “Can I have my key, now?”

“Of course,” Rin said obligingly, and holding it out. She took it, and he might have imagined it but he could have sworn she’d lingered just a little at the touch of their fingers.

“Oh, and Rikku,” he called as she walked out, head held high.

“Yeah?” She paused, glancing back.

“Thank you for your patronage."

That time, no one could have denied the flush in her cheeks.

Rin smiled to himself and licked the honeyed taste of a potion from his lips.

21: the movie

2008-03-20T08:19:15Z

So I went to see 21 (that new movie with Jim Sturgess) this evening with a couple of friends. I really liked it! I mean, okay, I'm pretty biased because I love Jim Sturgess. But. It really was very good. He was adorable in his role as geek extraordinaire, and he succeeded in making me incredibly jealous of his insane mad skills of brainage.

If anyone's wondering what the hell I'm talking about, 21 is about Ben Campbell, a student at MIT whose dream is to go to Harvard Medical School. He's been accepted, but he doesn't have the money ($300,000 US). So when one of his professors at MIT sees how 'good with numbers' Ben is and approaches him about counting cards in Vegas, Ben can't say no. Of course, things don't exactly go as planned.

Anyways, it's very good, and Jim Sturgess does quite a good job at faking an American accent.

So, yes. Go see it.

meme answers!

2008-03-19T05:06:30Z

The meme is here.

You can still play, as long as you don't look at the list below! The list of characters is behind the cut, so don't click if you're gonna ask questions.

I didn't bother clarifying FF characters.

MY LIST:
1. Tidus
2. Temperance Brennan (Bones)
3. Auron
4. Baralai
5. Quistis Trepe
6. Spike (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
7. Gippal
8. Riku (Kingdom Hearts)
9. Squall Leonhart
10. Irvine Kinneas
11. Winifred Burkle (Angel: the Series)
12. Zell Dincht
13. Rikku
14. Agatsuma Soubi (Loveless)
15. Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)

iamleaper's questions:

What is 1 and 10's favorite thing to do together?

Hm... I suppose they'd play blitzball. I mean, Irvine may not have played it before, but I could see him liking it.
I know, I am lame and unimaginative but that's all I can think of. DX

If 7 and 9 went shopping, what would they buy?

I AM SO BAD AT THIS. Bullets? You know, gun and gunblade. And possibly belts (Gippal's got some odd ones across his chest, right?) Our FF boys do love their belts.

Who would be on top, 3 or 4?

Definitely Auron. Sorry, Baralai love, but you don't even always top with Gippal. Ain't no way Auron's gonna bottom!

first_seventhe's questions:

If 7 and 13 planned to rob a bank, how would it work? What would the plan be?

Hm. I would say Rikku would mix up some explosions and fireworks and pretty shiny stuff to distract everyone (possibly set some things on fire as well) while Gippal gets the cash.
Isn't it lucky I am not a bank robber? I would fail like whoa. But then, so would they.
Of course, I don't think they'd bother to rob a bank. After all, Rikku's a thief - she could just pickpocket in the streets!

Who would 8 rather date, 1 or 15?

I'm gonna say Tidus, because I simply cannot see Ed and Riku ever getting along. Riku needs someone cheerful and Tidus is just the man!

3, 9, and 12 are out to dinner together, and there's one chicken wing left on the plate. Who gets it? And why?

Well, Squall and Auron are certainly formidable enemies, but I'm gonna say Zell. Really, can you ever see Zell losing anything to do with food? I think he'd have it in his mouth before anyone could even blink.

thiefqueenriyo's questions:

If 6 were to lick some kind of food off of 12, what would it be? ;D

Hah! Sorry if this squicks you, but the answer is blood. After all, Spike eats nothing else - at least, nothing else sustains him.

Who would win in a no-holds-barred battle: 8, 3, 1, or 10? Riku, Auron, Tidus, and Irvine. I'm gonna say Auron. Man, have you seen him fight? He hits 9999 (if you're a loser like me and you haven't gotten Masamune 'cause you're too damn lazy). I don't think there're many people who could take him on!
How about a pie-eating contest? =D Now that is definitely Tidus. I seriously doubt Auron would even participate, though!
How about a game of Duel Monsters (Yugioh)? xD Hm. I guess I'd say Auron. He's very intelligent and takes the time to consider things. Too bad Baralai's not on this list. He'd own everyone!
DDR? 8D Well, Tidus. Obviously.

If 14 and 2 were sitting in a café, and 11 came up to them and said, "Yer mom's a whoooore," who would attack 11 first?

Well, I don't think they'd really attack her... but if one of them was going to, it would definitely be Brennan. Soubi's too cool to lose his temper over something like that, and Brennan's parents are a sensitive topic for her.

If 4 and 7 were to have kinky sex, what would that involve?

Wow. ~~Sexiest~~ coolest coincidence ever? Baralai and Gippal and kinky sex, hm? Well, I'd say bondage and possibly blindfolding. SHAMELESS PLUG OF 15-MINUTE-FICLET HERE. I'm not really into the whole super-hardcore whipping-crazy-bitch-talk stuff, and I certainly cannot see Baralai and Gippal being into it, either.

Would 5 and 13 ever make out?

*laugh* Well, I suppose it wouldn't be totally impossible (if one ignores their different universes) - I mean, I think their personalities would complement each other. But I don't know that it's something I'd actually write.

If 9 and 15 were forced to dance together, what kind of dance would they do?

Um. Squall and Edward? That's not just asking for trouble, it's getting down on your knees, pulling out puppy-dog eyes, and begging! But. Hm... I'm gonna say some kind of ballroom dancing - I cannot see them doing club-grinding or anything like that. And Squall proved (after some initial troubles) to be quite the ballroom dancer!

owlmoose's questions:

Do you ship 3 and 4? Why or why not? Would either of them be better with 11?

Oh, god, no! XP Auron and Baralai do not work. Hm. I suppose Fred and Baralai could work ~~if Baralai didn't belong with Gippal~~.

If 7 was running for president against 9, whom would you vote for? Who do you think would win?

Definitely Squall, to both questions! Gippal does a good job with the Machine Faction, but I think Squall is a much better leader, even if he's not necessarily a born politician! He's intelligent and won't let people walk all over him. I think that's important in a leader.

If 5 and 14 went to a concert, what band would they see?

That's a hard one. The only thing I can think of is Nickelback... Just out of curiosity (because this is an interesting one) does anybody have another opinion?

Pick a favorite between 2 and 12. Why?

A favorite? D= You are cruel. I guess Zell, because although I absolutely love Brennan, I think Zell is so much more complex and there is so much more him to explore. ~~I did not intend the strong sexual undertones of that last bit.~~

not_cynical's questions:

9 and 13 get drunk together. Do they make out or start fighting?

Definitely fighting. Squall and Rikku just don't mesh.

Would 6 share lottery winnings with 15?

Hah! Spike, share anything with anyone ~~other than Buffy~~? Not likely.

1 and 12 are stuck in a broken down car in the rain. What do they talk about, and who gets kicked out to fetch someone to repair it?

They'd probably play silly games like 20 Questions. Possibly they would armwrestle. Why do I suddenly wish there was fic of this? And most likely it would be Tidus who would go get someone for repairs. Here's my scenario: whoever loses the armwrestle has to go. Obviously Tidus loses because while he is good with his sword ~~DAMN MY DIRTY MIND~~, Zell is a martial artist. Therefore he could probably beat the Hulk in an armwrestle.

Long story short? Tidus. Tidus goes.

meme snatched from inksheddings

2008-03-17T21:22:35Z

1) Make a list of 15 characters and assign each character a number.

2) Without telling anyone who's on the list or the character's assigned number, get questions from your flist about what they'd like to know about them, i.e. "If 3 and 4 were trapped in a cave together with only a blanket and a toothpick, what would they do?"

3) Post the list of characters and answers to the questions.

Have at it, if anyone's reading this. Seriously, NO ONE EVER ANSWERS MY MEMES AND THIS ONE SOUNDS FUN.

fic for which I have no title (this could be a problem at ff.net...)

2008-03-16T16:06:22Z

A kind of sequel-ish (I say ish because it takes places in the middle!) ficlet to bottle_of_shine's Missing the Sun (which I highly recommend).

This ficlet quite literally just... appeared. I mean, seriously, I didn't intend to write it. It just came out. And then I went, Oh, crap, but it's fanfiction of a fanfiction.

Luckily, Renay is a Very Nice Person, and has given me permission to post it.

WORKSAFE (if boys kissing is okay)

Gippal was grinning before he was even fully-awake. He could feel the sun slanting through the tiny crack in the tent's 'doors', painting the insides of his eyelids pink and laving warmth over his face. He was wrapped in a tangle of limbs, spooning a warm body. His hand was loosely clasped in another - more delicate, darker, longer - and the hair that tickled his nose was pearly-white and very fine. Gippal smiled into the back of the brown neck in front of him.

Baralai was starting to stir. Gippal watched the pale lashes rise and flutter sleepily, and couldn't stop smiling.

Gippal felt Baralai's whole body tense for a moment as he realized that he was not sleeping alone. Gippal knew without having to ask that Baralai's mind was racing, and hoped to any god that might be up there that Baralai wasn't regretting the night before.

"So, that actually happened?" Gippal murmured, watching the way the sun made the strands of Baralai's hair, falling over his face, glitter like silver.

Baralai glanced sideways at him, a small, soft smile lighting his face. "Of course it did," he answered, voice husky from sleep. "What did you think?"

Gippal shrugged with his free shoulder. "I don't know. I guess I thought maybe I'd just finally cracked with all the sexual tension and I'd imagined the whole thing."

Baralai laughed. "You must have a very vivid imagination."

"Oh, I do." Baralai's hair smelt of campfire smoke and the sea. "In fact, I'm still not totally sure I'm not dreaming." Gippal pressed his mouth to the soft skin just under Baralai's ear, tasting the salty tang of sweat. "I don't suppose you'd care to convince me?"

Baralai rolled to face him, and Gippal could see a flicker of hesitation in his eyes. He wondered how strange it must be for Baralai, who, unlike Gippal, had only just come to the startling realization that he was very much attracted to his best friend.

But then Baralai was kissing him, and if there was any lingering uncertainty Gippal couldn't feel any of it in the embrace. Baralai's hand was threading through Gippal's tangled hair and he was pressing every inch of their bodies together. His fingers brushed light, teasing touches over the back of Gippal's neck, sending shivers down Gippal's spine.

Baralai pulled away just enough to ask (just slightly out of breath), "Convinced?"

Gippal figured it would be way too cheesy if he informed Baralai that he definitely needed more convincing. Instead, he pulled Baralai's mouth back to his. Baralai didn't protest, and Gippal couldn't believe his luck.

After all, he might have hoped, but he had never really expected that his feelings for Baralai were anything other than unrequited. Why should he? Baralai had never given any indication he even noticed the way Gippal felt about him (which had, in fact, turned out to be true) much less that he reciprocated them. Of course, there was no way Gippal was going to complain about this new development.

Baralai's quiet moan sunk into Gippal's mouth and his hand was sliding down Gippal's spine, making him arch forward, pressing closer against Baralai's body.

Yeah, he could definitely get used to this.

Writer's Block: Meaningful Words

2008-03-16T04:02:19Z

What is your favorite quote? And why?

View 500 Answers

"It's better to die on your feet than live on your knees."

I don't remember who said it, but I absolutely love this quote. It is exactly what I would like to live my life by.

I also really like, "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear." -Ambrose Redmoon

remind me i have friends

2008-03-08T04:07:59Z

Things are just... shit right now and basically what this post is, is my plea to any of you to cheer me up. Everyone is healthy, there are no financial troubles, and nobody has died. But I don't remember the last time I felt as despairing and absolutely hopeless as I do now. I don't want to talk about why, I just... want to remember I have friends. Anything you think might make me feel a bit better would be wonderful.

danny? danny, where'd you go?

2008-03-07T05:27:56Z

He's... he's gone? Why the hell would they vote him off? I mean, really, people, he was so cute. And yes, he actually could sing. Seriously.

If I could have voted for him I would have.

I love my American friends and all, but PEOPLE, COME ON. COME ON.

Sigh. Do you see my icon, America? Do you not recognize awesomeness when it dons stripy scarves, opens its mouth, and sings like there's no tomorrow? REALLY?

Bitchbitchbitch. I AM GOING OFF TO SEARCH FOR COMMUNITIES DEDICATED TO HIM.

I AM SURE THERE MUST BE SOME.

fic: Fox

2008-03-05T04:07:49Z

A relatively short Aurikku fic.

For Xedra, my very faithful reviewer, who has improved my self-esteem about my writing greatly. If I start getting cocky, you know who to blame! I hope this is what you wanted, Xedra!

Just so everyone knows, I don't have a specific location for this. It takes places at some kind of Travel Agency or inn.

"It's... Rikku, you do not understand."

"Yeah?" Rikku scowled, every bit of her unyielding - legs shoulder-width apart, planted firmly, arms crossed, chin high. Auron was fairly sure he could feel a headache coming on. "What exactly don't I understand?"

Who exactly did she think she was scowling at? Auron had invented that look. "You seem to think that I return your... sentiments."

Rikku didn't waver. "My 'sentiments'."

"Yes. Your girlish crush." The words and their concomitant guilt left a bitter taste in Auron's mouth.

There was once a little boy who had no friends. He was a lonely boy, and though his mother and father tried very hard to get the other children to play with him, he was too different. None of the children would ever let him join in their games. One day the boy's father bought him a pony to be his friend. But the boy was frightened of the pony, which was so much bigger than him, and he could not ride it for long without falling off. So the pony was sold.

"My 'girlish crush'? You are so... ugh!" Rikku stamped her foot in frustration.

"If I am so intolerable, then why do you harbor such feelings for me in the first place?" It was a rhetorical question, and Rikku knew it, but she answered anyway.

"Because you can't choose who you love," she said. Her voice was so small that Auron forgot for a moment just how viciously she could fight, and was nearly overwhelmed by the instinct to gather her up in his arms and keep her safe from everything.

Damn it, no. Auron gripped the bedpost next to him for strength.

The boy became sad and even more withdrawn, because even though the pony had not really been a friend, it had provided some sort of company. So the boy's mother tried to teach him how to sing, in the hopes that he could impress the other children with his musical talent. But the boy had no musical talent at all, and proved to be a terrible singer.

"It is a temporary thing," Auron said with as much confidance as he could muster.

"How would you know?!" Rikku burst out, throwing her arms up in frustration.

"Because you are so young. You do not understand what love is or how to -"

"You are so smug. You think you know everything. You think you're so world-weary and wise - Auron, you said so yourself! You're barely thirty!" Rikku shook her head. "And how can you say I don't know what love is? Everybody knows what love is, Auron - it's just as instinctual as eating and drinking and sleeping and -" Rikku's mouth quirked despite her frustration, and her gaze turned sly. "And sex." She was rewarded by a startled blink from Auron - more of a reaction than she usually got from her teasing. "Babies love their mothers before they even know the word. Mothers love their children before they've even seen them. People die and live for love even when they can't name it for what it is. People give up everything for the people they love. Love isn't a choice, it's - it's an instinct."

Auron said nothing. Though he would never have admitted it, Rikku's speech had been unusually eloquent and... touching. She was one of the most complicated people he'd ever met - bubbly and outgoing but more perceptive and wise than anyone gave her credit for. She played the fool well, but he was not surprised that she could be so mature.

The other children teased the boy even more when they heard his singing, and so he ceased even to speak. His parents grew more and more worried about the boy, who was so silent he no longer even laughed. So the boy's father taught him how to fight, in the hopes that the other children would respect him for his strength and courage. The boy proved to be a good fighter - he was naturally quick and strong, and in no time he was a better fighter than any of the other boys in the village. But the children, instead of respecting him, grew afraid of him and would not come near him.

"Nevertheless," Auron said, in a voice that was perhaps more gruff than usual, "the fact remains that just because you feel this way for me, does not mean I feel the same for you."

Rikku blinked, but she did not look uncertain. "You kissed me back," she said. "I felt it."

"I did not," Auron informed her, his voice level. "You must have imagined it."

She was glaring at him again. "I didn't imagine it. You kissed me back, I know what it feels like to be kissed and you kissed me back."

She sounded rather hysterical. Auron's grip on the bedpost tightened at the quiver in her voice. "I think it's time to go to bed," he said, his eyes fixed on the slightly rumpled blue bedspread. "We have a lot of ground to cover tomorrow. You will need your rest."

The boy was so unhappy that one day he decided to run away. He packed food and flint and took his bow and arrow. He was still much too young to survive on his own, but he hoped he might come across a different village where people might accept him more. He had barely gone half a day into the forest when he found a fox, its leg stuck in a trap. Its cries of pain drew the boy to it, and though he knew it was unwise, he freed the fox from the trap, even though he was sure that it would bite him.

It did not.

"Fine!" she cried. "Go to bed!"

Neither of them moved.

"You're in my room," Auron said at last.

The boy nursed the fox back to health with the food and water he had brought. He knew he would not survive feeding them both with such limited supplies, so he returned to the village. He carried the fox, who was still sick and could not walk properly, in his arms.

The boy's parents were so glad to have him back, and that he had found a friend, that they did not protest to the taming of such a wild animal.

But the boy was wiser than they, and he knew that the fox is not a creature meant to be a pet. He knew that if he continued to let the fox depend upon him, it would never again be able to survive on its own. So he took it to the edge of the forest and told it to leave.

"I know," she said. "I'm supposed to share with Lulu tonight."

"And?" Auron pressed, knowing that was not all she had to say.

"And I don't want to. Lulu hogs the covers."

Auron closed his eyes, praying to anything that might actually be up there for strength. "Rikku. It is not proper."

He could hear the grin in her voice. "Neither is an Al Bhed entering the temples but I've done my share of that, haven't I?"

"I..."

But the fox would not go. The boy shouted and pointed into the trees, but the fox stayed close to the boy's legs, blinking up at him with too much trust in its eyes.

So the boy picked up a stone.

"Get out, Rikku." Auron's voice lost any gentleness it had held before - any attempt to soften his rejection was gone. "Go to your room and sleep in your bed. Go."

The noise the fox made when the boy's stone struck it nearly broke the boy's heart. It was the same sound that had first drawn him in. But the boy did not stop, because he knew it was for the good of the fox. By the third stone, the fox had run off into the forest faster than the boy had ever seen it move.

Rikku crossed the room with all the speed she was famous for as a thief, and kissed him for the second time that day. She wasn't totally sure what she was doing, and it showed, but her lips were soft and warm and held the sugary-sweet taste of the elixir she had taken in battle that afternoon. Her arms were flung around his shoulders, his fingers twisting in his hair and occasionally brushing over the back of his neck with touches so light they sent shivers down his spine.

Auron was mortified to hear himself groan, deep and low and needy, and god but he couldn't stop himself from leaning in, kissing her back with everything he had, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close to him until they were pressed together from neck to knee.

Rikku didn't pull away to gloat at her victory, though he was half-expecting she would. Instead she tugged him over to his bed, one hand sliding down to grip his arm so as to steer him better. She pushed him down, falling on top of him to straddle his hips, never breaking the kiss. Her hands cupped his face, and he was suddenly very aware that he had not shaved at all that day, and that his cheeks must scratch hard enough to sting, though she made no complaint.

Auron had looked better. Ten years ago, he had been handsome enough. Now, though - his life had taken its toll on him. His mouth and eyes were lined and there was gray weaving through his hair - had been since Braska and Jecht's deaths. Now, his eyes were filled with sorrow and weariness, and he wore his glasses to hide it. But Rikku was sliding them off, tossing them to the floor somewhere behind her. She smiled down at him, and didn't seem to care on bit that he looked twenty years older than he was - that he'd seen and done things that would make most women cringe - that his cheeks were scratchy and he always smelt like alcohol.

"We can't," he groaned, grabbing her arms when she began to peel away his overcoat.

"Why not? Tonight might be all we have." Her eyes pleaded with him. "There're no guaranties in our world - especially not for us. Tonight might be all we have, Auron."

The boy never saw the fox again.

He tried to say no - tried to push the word from his throat - just one syllable, it couldn't be that hard - but instead his muscles seemed to collapse, and she was tearing off his coat before he even had a chance to blink.

Auron closed his eyes and knew that he could cast no more stones.

Instead he kissed her, willing himself to forget for one night all that was wrong with his surrender.

It would have been for her own good, even if she might not have understood it then. But now... now he'd given in, and when he was gone, it would hurt her more than he ever could with a simple 'no'.

meme stolen from inksheddings

2008-03-03T01:12:16Z

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Dior_anghel!

Lightning strikes dior_anghel over seven times every hour!
Czar Paul I banished dior_anghel to Siberia for marching out of step.
Dior_anghel is the last letter of the Greek alphabet.
Edinburgh imports three thousand kilograms of dior_anghel every year.
In the 1600s, tobacco was frequently prescribed to treat headaches, bad breath and dior_anghel.
It is bad luck to walk under dior_anghel.
Dior_anghel invented the wheel in the fourth millennium BC.
Dior_anghelolatry is the mindless worship of dior_anghel!
Only twelve people have ever set foot on dior_anghel.
Dior_anghel is physically incapable of sticking her tongue out.

*snickers* I particularly like number 5. It's true that if you smoke around me, I'll be out of there faster than you can say 'cancer', so... I s'pose that's not an inaccurate fact!

Go on. Show me all of yours! =)

persepolis

2008-03-03T00:52:38Z

So I've started reading Persepolis because I figured there had to be some truth to all the praise it was getting.

And guys? There so is.

I'm not even finished the first volume yet but I love it. The style of art took me a while to get used to because it's so... well, primitive. But it has its own charm, and it, along with the fantastic narration, makes it seem like this really is being told by a child. Sometimes it's clever and funny; sometimes it's very moving. It manages to be serious while still having a few jokes to lighten to overall darkness of it.

I highly recommend this. Even if you don't like graphic novels, I still recommend it. My mother doesn't like graphic novels at all but she absolutely loved Persepolis.

Also, I almost snorted my orange juice through my nose when I read the whole God looks like Marx thing. *snicker*

Yeah, I was reading it over breakfast. I didn't want to put it down.